May 22nd isn’t just another Monday, it’s also the premiere of The Bachelorette, featuring the spectacular Rachel Lindsay as it’s first African-American lead. It’s great to see ABC welcome a healthy diversity in its cast, even with something as silly as reality television. To top it off, Rachel is a beautiful woman with a serious job and a dynamite personality, all of the makings for a season we have to stay tuned for. We’ve got quite a line-up of suitors (the biggest I think we’ve ever seen), and it’s time to see whether or not they measure up as marriage material.
Here are the men who will all be vying to be the next fiancee of Rachel Lindsay. I’ve included some basic info, my personal thoughts, some independent research, and an approval rating on whether they can be a viable match. There’s thumbs up for guys who are either authentic, good for Rachel and/or have potential for great TV and thumbs down for the ones who are either cringey, have suspect motives, or just straight up buffoons. It wouldn’t be a show without a mix of the two, and there’s neutral ground for some, but let’s see where these “gentlemen” lie with their official ABC biographies.
Adam
Age – 27
Job – Real Estate Agent
Residence – Dallas, Texas
Approval Rating – One thumb down
He seemed fine at a glance, a decent looking dude who works in real estate and lives in the same town as Rachel. But he lost me after his bio said the most romantic present he received was a threesome. If your mom wasn’t embarrassed about you being on The Bachelorette, I’m sure as hell she’s embarrassed now.
Alex
Age – 28
Job – IT Supervisor
Residence – Grosse Pointe, Michigan
Approval Rating – One thumb up
My intel said he worked in accounting, but apparently he works with information systems. He seems okay; honest about his flaws and more ruggedly handsome than the others. Further research indicates he’s originally from Russia, so I can already see him and Kristina (the adopted Russian girl from Nick’s season) hooking up if things don’t work with Rachel.
Anthony
Age – 26
Job – Software Manager
Residence – Chicago, Illinois
Approval Rating – Two thumbs up
I might be alone on this, but I actually really like this guy. He seems super wholesome; taught English in multiple countries and currently works in education software (as a manager, no less!) Yeah, that Life of Pi answer was weird, but he impressed me with the remarkable amount of substance he had. Quite the rarity when it comes to a show like this.
Blake E.
Age – 31
Job – Unemployed Aspiring Drummer
Residence – Marina del Rey, California
Hometown – Jacksonville, Florida
Approval Rating – One thumb down
His awkward meeting with Rachel on After the Final Rose wasn’t a dealbreaker, but it was the info that came after which sealed it. The bullshit job title was bad enough, but this guy just has a completely obnoxious vibe to him, from his profile to his headshot. He was briefly engaged to a “crazy girl” and likes 50 Shades of Grey because women absolutely love it, right? (No.) Further research indicates that he’s a personal trainer with a fitness modeling background, but it’s not like those wouldn’t have saved him from a poor impression.
Blake K.
Age – 29
Job – Veteran (US Marine)
Residence – San Francisco, California
Approval Rating – Two thumbs up
With good looks, great background (served in Marines before working in talent management), and a kind demeanor, I’m having a really tough time trying to find anything wrong with this dude. He seems pretty sterling on paper; loves his mom, Chipotle, and a great smile. He doesn’t like sharks, wrestling with crocodiles or eating monkey brains, but this isn’t Fear Factor so hopefully Rachel won’t be offended. I’d be shocked if he didn’t go far, but I doubt he’ll have any trouble with dating in the future if he doesn’t win.
Brady
Age – 29
Job – Male Model
Residence – Miami, Florida
Hometown – Eden Prairie, Minnesota
Approval Rating – One thumb down
Why does it always have to be a “male model?” Are all models supposed to be women? Anyway, he’s obviously really good looking (in a peculiar Hansel from Zoolander kind of way) but there’s more questionable bio answers than positive ones. In addition to his weird icebreaker limousine intro, being a model just makes me believe he’s there to promote his image rather than find a wife.
Bryan
Age – 37
Job – Chiropractor
Residence – Miami, Florida
Approval Rating – One thumb up
His bio was interesting, as it seemed completely from the impression I got in his picture: Chiseled bad boy who will probably not have any problem being one. Looks can be deceiving, but I think that he’ll be great for the show whether he’s good or evil. There are two types of reality TV villains – the insufferable tools and the glorious jerks. If I had to put money on a villain that will be fun to watch, it would definitely be Bryan.
Bryce
Age – 30
Job – Firefighter
Residence – Orlando, Florida
Approval Rating – One thumb down
I hate to be the jerk who points this out, but his elf ears were all I could think about. While it doesn’t diminish his cuteness, he lost his check after stating he’d love to get Instafamous, compared himself to a glass of water with a jolt lightning, and admitted that he somehow caught a girl’s hair on fire during intercourse. Definitely the type of guy you bring home to Momma.
Update: Apparently people are up in arms about his answer to about his worst dating fear (which has now been removed). He said he’d hate it if his date ended up being a man, but I assumed he meant being catfished. People thought otherwise and called it transphobic, but I doubt we’ll ever know what his intention was now.
Dean
Age – 26
Job – Startup Recruiter
Residence – Venice Beach, California
Hometown – Aspen, Colorado
Approval Rating – One thumb down
I’m sure Dean is a decent guy who just got really nervous with that “black and never going back” snafu on After the Final Rose, but I just don’t see a winner here. He just seems too googly green and naive to be someone that Rachel wants to marry. Sure, he’s cute, charismatic, and has an endearing background that the show will love to exploit, but I’m not betting any money that he’s going to be Mr. Rachel Lindsay.
DeMario
Age – 30
Job – Executive Recruiter
Residence – Century City, California
Approval Rating – One thumb up
Rachel’s first suitor that she met on After the Final Rose, DeMario had an okay introduction where he joked about eloping to Las Vegas after Rachel picks him. The bio, however, tells another story. He loves attention, thinks he’s perfect, and wants a pet lion named Denzel. These traits wouldn’t typically warrant a thumbs up, but the good TV potential certainly does.
Diggy
Age – 31
Job – Inventory Analyst
Residence – Chicago, Illinois
Approval Rating – One thumb down
I’m not sure if the weird nickname is because they have another Kenneth, but other alarm bells earned him a thumbs down. There’s nothing wrong with a nerdy job or a nerdy appearance, but his one night stand story, Saturday day drinking, and love for the center of attention does not give me confidence this is a guy who’s winner material.
Eric
Age – 29
Job – Personal Trainer
Residence – Los Angeles, California
Hometown – Baltimore, Maryland
Approval Rating – Two thumbs up
Normally, a former model that lives in the SoCal area (the hotbed of reality TV recruiting) would not be well received, but after watching his incredible chemistry with Rachel on After the Final Rose, it made me a believer in Eric. Even better, he’s also got his own book and works as a motivational speaker/life coach. l think it would’ve been cool if they let his motivational speaking be his shtick, then they could have let Blake E. pretend to be the personal trainer.
Fred
Age – 27
Job – Executive Assistant
Residence – Los Angeles, California
Hometown – Dallas, Texas
Approval Rating – Questionable
Why give this guy the first neutral ranking, you ask? Turns out he’s willing to risk his somewhat promising career in the entertainment field to follow his dream of reuniting with his elementary school crush, Rachel Lindsay. He seems all right as a person, but I’m not sure if she’ll be awed or perturbed when shows up with the yearbook of them it. It’ll be interesting to see where this goes. Regardless, it’s still a better love story than Liz and Nick. Or Twilight.
Grant
Age – 29
Job – Emergency Medicine Physician
Residence – New York, NY
Approval Rating – One thumb up
Handsome, hard-working, there’s enough to like about Grant. There is a frat vibe to him that I got from his bio that could be a turn off some, but there’s also a chance those quirks can be endearing instead of obnoxious. He could easily be a flop, but I like what I see so far and he gets a good rating. For now.
Fun Fact: Turns out his sister Cher was featured on My Super Sweet Sixteen. I remember her vividly because she was actually nice and thoughtful, and not one of the raging bitches that were frequently featured on the show. Hopefully, these glowing qualities will translate with her brother.
Iggy
Age – 30
Job – CEO, Consulting Firm
Residence – Chicago, Illinois
Hometown – Pasadena, California
Approval Rating – One thumb up
It’s amazing to see people who’ve accomplished so much at a relatively young age go on a show like The Bachelorette. I’m not complaining, because I very much enjoy substance over style. Iggy’s got a lot to like; good looks, friendly energy, and a boss job, he’s definitely someone that will catch Rachel’s eye. I would have given him two thumbs up, but some cheesy bio answers and subsequent bad jokes prevented that.
Jack
Age – 32
Job – Attorney
Residence – Dallas, Texas
Approval Rating – Two thumbs up
Did they find a guy tailor made for Rachel or what? A fellow Dallas attorney who is equally as attractive, I’m shocked the two don’t even know each other (Then again, Dallas is a huge city). The only weird thing about him was that he has to be referred to as Jack Stone rather than just Jack, but barring that he seems pretty much perfect; cool adventure stories, seemingly humble, and full of substance.
Update: Further research entails that he changed his name to Jack Stone to honor his late mother, who passed away of cancer.
Jamey
Age – 32
Job – Sales Executive
Residence – Santa Monica, California
Approval Rating – Questionable
He is good looking and I like the way he spells Jamey, but that’s about it. He’s another LA resident but most of the actor types have flashy bios to showcase their “talents”; his bio answers were short, curt, and didn’t have a whole lot of depth to them. There might be more than what meets the eye, so he’ll get a neutral ranking overall.
Jedidiah
Age – 35
Job – Emergency Room Physician
Residence – Augusta, Georgia
Approval Rating – Questionable
I really don’t know what to make of this guy. He looks like a soap opera villain infused with a country sitcom character. To my surprise, he’s a doctor that’s been to South Africa and woke about its issues as a country. He loves wolves, trap music, scrambled eggs, and wildflowers. He also built his parents a home in Montana. The combination of his interests are super fascinating, but I can’t in good conscience give this guy a thumbs up.
Jonathan
Age – 31
Job – Family Medicine Physician/ “Tickle Monster”
Residence – New Smyrna Beach, Florida
Approval Rating – Two thumbs down
Why be a respectable doctor on The Bachelorette when you can be a TICKLE MONSTER. I really want to believe some asshole producer took advantage of Jonathan’s already creeper extraordinaire vibe and used “tickle monster” as a joke since we already have several doctors, but my instincts tell me Jonathan had no problem with the show doing this. To compound the misery, his bio reads that he lost his virginity to his ex-wife and that it was “pretty uneventful.” What we have here is a certified trainwreck, and I hope for his sake that he’s cut loose very quickly.
Josiah
Age – 28
Job – Attorney, Assistant State
Residence – Fort Lauderdale, Florida
Hometown – Plantation, Florida
Approval Rating – One thumb up
Our second attorney is a lot more complex with a lot more baggage. Barring questionable admissions of having sex in his office and loving attention, he has also been catfished by a pregnant woman and tragically lost a brother to suicide. Nevertheless, he won me over with his answer about becoming head prosecutor so affect real change in his community. Overall, he’s handsome and likeable enough to get a check, and I’m sure his journey will take center stage if he goes the distance.
Kenny
Age – 35
Job – Professional Wrestler
Residence – Las Vegas, Nevada
Hometown – Orlando, Florida
Approval Rating – One thumb up
A pro wrestler would not be someone I’d rank high on (due to questionable intentions), but with a cool Kanji tattoo and a daughter that is “literally my reason for living”, Kenny won me over with a check. I do think that him and Rachel would make a cute couple and it’ll be interesting to see how their story unfolds.
Update: The only real alarm bell (which has now been removed from the ABC website) was that he once screwed someone’s wife…while the husband was watching.
Kyle
Age – 26
Job – Marketing Consultant
Residence – Los Angeles, California
Approval Rating – Questionable
Another LA guy who I was ready to write off, until his bio read a general disdain for corrupt authority and an admiration for Ed Snowden. He also loves Donald Glover, Will Smith, and camping. His ideal mate is at least a 7, and his ex introduced him to BDSM. He does seem super interesting, but there are strong troublemaker vibes and the young age prevents me from giving him a thumbs up.
Lee
Age – 30
Job – Musician
Residence – Nashville, Tennessee
Hometown – Jacksonville, Florida
Approval Rating – One thumb down
What’s up with these Nashville singer/songwriters always ending up on The Bachelorette? It must be a recurring archetype on this show. In regards to Lee, he’s decent looking but nothing else stood out to me from his bio. And judging from his pursuits in music and acting, I don’t have a lot of faith that he’s there for the right reasons.
Lucas
Age – 30
Job – Unemployed “Whaboom”
Residence – Santa Monica, California
Hometown – Woodside, California
Approval Rating – Two thumbs down
What’s a “whaboom” you ask? I have no clue, and I doubt this guy does either. Like most thirsty actors who have to pretend they aren’t going on reality TV to be famous, Lucas has to stand out with a ridiculous job title that will make you remember who he is. Hence, the “whaboom.” His bio is equally as obnoxious and we’re probably all hoping Rachel will put him out of our misery.
Fun Fact: My independent research found that he’s worked as a production assistant in the past and dabbled in real estate, but why be either when you can be an aggravating douchelord for fifteen minutes?
Matthew
Age – 32
Job – Construction Material Salesman
Residence – Meriden, Connecticut
Approval Rating – Questionable
I really wanted to give Matt a check after reading a bio filled with great qualities: Unique job, admires his parents, worked with inner city kids, good taste in movies and music, and other nice little tidbits. Then he had to get out of the limousine with a goddamn penguin outfit on and waste such lovely goodwill. He could still go the distance (after all, we all thought Alexis “dolphin-ately” wouldn’t make it far), but the people with weird intros don’t tend to win.
Michael
Age – 26
Job – Former Pro Basketball Player
Residence – Chicago, Illinois
Approval Rating – Questionable
I debated on whether to give Mike a check or not. Pros include playing international basketball for Bulgaria, admires Barack Obama, and has a relatively chill vibe in general. Cons include young age and an irrational fear of friends hooking up with his dates. A seemingly nice guy but doesn’t have any real zest for me to give him thumbs up.
Milton
Age – 31
Job – Hotel Supervisor
Residence – North Bay Village, Florida
Approval Rating – Two thumbs down
He oversees the recreation activities at a hotel, but why double thumbs down? Forget the sleazy smile and the hideous name, let’s add a bottom lip tattoo, comparing himself to Kobe, and openly admitting he wants to break into acting and get discovered. It’s not a total shock for these schmucks to be open about wanting to do bigger and better things, but it does not make it less aggravating.
Mohit
Age – 26
Job – Product Manager
Residence – Pacifica, California
Approval Rating – Two thumbs up
There’s a ton to love about Mo aside from his charming bio answers. A legit job, founded his own website, he seems pretty solid to me. He’s mature enough to be a great match for Rachel while quirky enough to be beloved by the audience. I can’t remember the last time we had an Indian-American on this show, but it’s always refreshing to see people from different ethnicity (hence the double thumbs).
Peter
Age – 31
Job – Business Owner
Residence – Madison, Wisconsin
Approval Rating – One thumb up
Red flags include a modeling past, a questionable job (my intel said he was yet another personal trainer) and admission that he was looking at wedding rings after dating a girl for three months. So why does he get a good approval? He’s handsome, admires his brother, and completed not one, but THREE different Ironman triathlons (one of which on a broken foot). To top it off, he has a similar gap in his front teeth that will make him and Rachel an exceptionally adorable couple.
Robert
Age – 30
Job – Law Student
Residence – Houston, Texas
Hometown – Calgary, Canada
Approval Rating – Questionable
Our sole Canadian seems decent on paper; well-traveled, relatively worldly, and good taste in music. He’s good looking, but I can’t get a good enough read to give thumbs up. That, and he prefers women who pursue him, which is not a good approach on a show with men who are ready to hog all of Rachel’s attention.
Will
Age – 28
Job – Sales Manager
Residence – Miami, Florida
Hometown – White Plains, New York
Approval Rating – Questionable
He had a nice bio that didn’t ring a ton of serious alarms but there really wasn’t any real spark to him either. Sure, he’s a good looking dude with a nice smile, but he fades away amongst the other guys that stand out and shine. His decent bio doesn’t warrant a bad approval but he won’t get a good one because he doesn’t like being someone’s second choice, another bad attitude to have on this kind of show. I fully expect him to be profoundly bitchy when he doesn’t get enough satisfactory time with Rachel, but we’ll see how this plays out.
